1. Camille Trent — Content Marketing
Reading level: Grade 8 (Hemmingway app)
At just 89 words and 7 sentences, Camille Trent’s LinkedIn About section is extremely short. You’ll also notice she uses one-sentence paragraphs and places a space between each paragraph, making her About section easily skimmable.
These factors almost guarantee most people will read the whole thing, which is a distant hope for most LinkedIn About sections.
Camille starts her About section off with a familiar reference, Phoebe and Monica from Friends. This instantly catches the profile visitor’s attention and makes her more relatable.
Camille then directly addresses the reader with “If you’re into fancy bullets, I’ve got those as well”, and very succinctly summarizes her skills and experience. The less common style of bullet points (✦) is visually pleasing and unique, making her About section a little more memorable.
The last “fancy bullet” is Camille’s humorous reference to her personality: “Chill unless watching my Portland Trail Blazers…” There’s an element of surprise because a reference to basketball is unexpected.
Not only does this make her more personable, but it’s a creative way to insert a subtle icebreaker into her LinkedIn About section. She probably gets a decent amount of incoming LinkedIn connection requests referencing the Portland Trail Blazers that kick off friendly conversations that lead to solid relationship building on LinkedIn.
Camille ends her LinkedIn About section with a one-sentence paragraph that speaks to a specific pain point for companies (“the designers are out”) and how she can help with that (“Adobe Creative Suite skillz.”) This shows her diverse skillset as a content marketer and willingness to step in to get things done.
The last thing to note in Camille’s LinkedIn about section is her use of casual and colloquial language like “Chill unless…”, “Dame Lillard for prez”, and “Adobe Creative Suite skillz.” It shows she doesn’t take herself too seriously, makes her relatable to the reader, and most importantly, makes her approachable.
Being approachable is super important on LinkedIn because it makes for easier relationship building.
2. Andy Yeo — Product Management
Reading score: Grade 9 (Hemmingway app)
Andy Yeo’s LinkedIn About section has one of the best openers I’ve ever seen: “Would you eat a scorpion?”
This bold question is totally unexpected on LinkedIn and immediately evokes a strong emotional response from the reader of disgust, disbelief or fear. Andy then quickly follows with a short and intriguing statement: “I would and I have.” This adds to the reader’s emotional response and keeps them reading — a classic case of the slippery slide technique in copywriting.
Finally, Andy delivers on the momentum with a lesson about trying new things and avoiding failure, rewarding the reader for their intrigue.
In just three short sentences, Andy manages to grab the reader’s attention, surprise them, and deliver value. Who wouldn’t keep reading this LinkedIn About section?
Once all is hooked and done, Andy uses the second paragraph to call out what he does in his day job. Instead of using buzzwords and jargon or describing his day-to-day activities, he states his mission in plain English: “to build the next standard in data integration.”
Andy also cleverly hints at being customer-driven by referencing “leveraging a growing developer and contributor community.”
In the third paragraph of his LinkedIn About section, Andy talks about his personal interests of travel, photography and food. He uses interesting phrases like “gastronomic journey around the globe” to leave an impression and invites readers to check out his Instagram.
Andy then moves into his professional interests in the fifth paragraph, specifically referencing “the intersection between education and technology.”
Finally, Andy’s LinkedIn About section ends with a clear call-to-action that invites the reader to start a conversation with him — which shouldn’t be hard, given all the ice breaker hints he’s dropped (data integration, travel, photography, food, education, etc.)
I particularly like the last sentence in his About section. It further reinforces his call-to-action with a graceful offer to connect folks to the right people should he not be able to help them.
3. Katelyn Bourgoin — Customer Research
Reading score: Grade 7 (from Hemmingway)
Katelyn starts off her LinkedIn About section with a phrase she commonly uses to introduce herself on the Customer Show podcast and various interviews: “I’m a marketer by trade and a 4X founder by choice.”
It’s a creative play on words that’s unique, memorable, and even has a credibility asset baked into it — the fact that she’s a 4X founder.
Katelyn then describes what her specialty is using plain and simple language: “helping marketers and product teams figure out what triggers customers to buy so they can market smarter.”
In the next three paragraphs, Katelyn summarizes what she accomplished as a 4X founder, which publications she’s been featured in and what these publications have said about her. Her reference to being called a “wonder woman of SaaS marketing and growth” by Forbes is refreshing amid a sea of “Forbes 30 under 30” LinkedIn profiles (*yawn*.)
After talking about herself for five paragraphs, Katelyn flips the script and asks the reader: “but what does any of it really mean? And why should you give a damn?”
It’s a subtle way of acknowledging that the reader probably doesn’t care about her and her story. All they care about is what this all means for them. This is common practice in a lot of LinkedIn About sections.
In the next paragraph, Katelyn (unexpectedly) leans on her failures to convince the reader why they should “give a damn.” Her shtick is that she’s “been in the game long enough” and has “made enough mistakes” to know what she’s talking about.
After subtly dropping another credibility asset (“After 10+ years in business”), she hits on the exact pain point of her target customer:
“👉👉 If you don’t know *exactly* which customers you should target or what fuels their buying decisions, growth will always feel painfully slow. 👈👈”
Again, Katelyn uses simple and plain language to describe the pain point. No buzzwords, no jargon.
This is also the only place in Katelyn’s LinkedIn About section where she uses emojis. Even people who merely skim her profile will land on this sentence and read it. And if they’re her target customer, she has a chance of capturing them in her funnel.
Katelyn then moves into her mission of why she founded Customer Camp: “because I was sick and tired of watching smart people struggle.” The fact she calls her target customer “smart” shows she respects them. And it nicely plays into the customer hero mentality, which is about making the customer the hero of their story, not yours. Customers don’t want another hero to come in and save the day — they need a guide who can give them the key to save the day themselves.
That’s where Katelyn’s role as the guide comes in in the next paragraph: “we help growth-ready product teams to focus on what matters most, yet is often neglected: deeply understanding their customers.” Using simple language, she describes the valuable solution that can enable her customer to be the hero and save the day.
Before ending with a strong call-to-action, Katelyn drops one of the many catchy slogans of her company: “whoever gets closer to the customer wins.” It evokes a sense of competition in the reader (especially if they’re a target customer), setting them up for the call-to-action.
Finally, Katelyn uses her call-to-action to tease the user with the different services her company offers. And ends with a clear but not too committal starting point: “Let’s connect.”